Always leave early for an Intl flight

Sorry it's taken me so long to write, but Pace hasn't hooked up our computer yet. So I wanted to give you the low down on my getting on the plane to go to France. Next insert will be about France.
Okay, so Noname & I are are leaving on the 9:25 pm flight. I decide we should go extra early. So we leave at 4:30. We get to the airport and are waiting on line. All of a sudden I realize I don't know where Noname's papers are. I curse and begin throwing apart my luggage; I'm cursing up a storm and from the line somone recognizes my rannting or cursing. It's Shar, she's from my Stevie Rays classes! I'm flusterred so I ask if she's going to a foreign country. No just Arizona for a week. Well that's all the formalities I can handle. As I check my bags the upteenth time, it's my turn to check bags. I explain that I can't find my cat's papers. Well she says it's okay here, but in Amsterdam, without those papers, they will put Noname to sleep. SHITTTT. What did I do with those papers (Marci you know how I feel). Well I decide that's it. I have to go back to the apartmentant check the trash. I get a cab, go all the way back home, get someone to let me in the building, then talk to the super about getting back my keys. I get them, open the door and there are the papers! I grab a cab back to the airport, now it's rush hour anget back on line. I check my bags and don't care that my deodorant has reach maximum overdrive. I've just got to get thru securit and we're home free. They make me take the cat out of her carrier in the airport. Noname is a doll. Okay we're homefree. Wait they want to check something in my bag. Holy Crap it's a billy club that I forgot was in there. The security see this. Stand Back! Keep your hands where we can see them. Holy crap! We have to call the Police because we believe these are illegal in Minnesota. So, I can get arrested? You'll probably just get a thousand dollar fine. So we wait for the cops, then I have to hear all the guys remebering the last time they saw one of these old ones. Other security guards are being quizzed on see if they see it in the baggage. The cops are great. It's not against the law, however airline security has to take pictures and that stuff; All I'm thinking is .......Great I'm not even in France yet and Interpol will know me. But it is just for airport security. It won't be on my record. I just make my flight. Then on the flight Noname decides to piss on my lap. So that's the story guys. I made it to Amsterdam, they didn't even want to see the paper work when I offered it up. Now we are both in France and ready to enjoy our journey

Maria